J

  • Jessica Isabel

Single, and not ready to mingle.


Soooo I did a thing. I tried dating more in 2018 after backing off of the dating scene for a few years. After all, people tell you if you don't put yourself out there how are you supposed to meet the one? Well folks, I put myself out there and I'm still single so....Just kidding. The experiences were beneficial to my learning experience and I actually met some great people along the way. I "talked" to a few people, had a couple short relationships, and I learned more about what I want and don't want out of a relationship, so I'd say it wasn't entirely a waste of time... except for that one guy who loved to gush about how amazing he was, but told me he takes anger management classes, all of his ex's would cringe at his name, and he had such a severe drinking problem that left him completely unable to ingest alcohol any longer. Hey, they can't all be prince charming right?


I just turned 27 at the end of last year and this seems to be the age when people start to really question your plans. Here comes the inquisition. Do you want to get married? Do you see children in your future? You do realize your almost thirty right? Kids after thirty is risky didn't you know? Have you found the one yet? Where do you see yourself in five years?


HOLD UP.


I'm not dying. I'm still young. Very young. No, I don't want to freeze my eggs. No, I'm not starting preventative botox. Maybe I want to get married if I meet that one person who absolutely makes me believe in love. ( I've never been in love so it would have to be a pretty damn magnificent person to change that!) I might want kids if that same person mentioned previously happens to want to really have kids with me also.


No my biological clock is not ticking, thank you for asking.


Let me tell you something. I like babies, just like I love puppies. I see one, I want to hold it, play with it, I might even feed it and change a diaper, but my ovaries don't scream when I do so. I love my baby cousin to death and want to spend lots of time with her, but she doesn't make me feel like I'm missing out just yet, even if she's so damn adorable! The way I look at it is there may be a time when I crave motherhood, but it's going to be on my own terms and definitely not because the Internet or society says so.


Now let me tell you what I am doing with my free time.


I'm working on myself. I'm building my business. I'm learning and growing. I'm becoming a better version of myself so that when I do meet this magical "one" or if I do decide to become a mother, I will feel the most ready. Not ready because I will know exactly what to do, but ready because I am confident and secure with myself, and I have chased the dreams that I needed to on my own before I give more of myself to chasing and securing the dreams of someone else. I don't want to settle, and I'm sure as hell not ready to settle down. I'm not slowing down. I'm working hard, I'm being selfish, and I'm living the best life I can for myself at this moment. I'm doing so to prepare myself for the future, whatever that may bring, and to ensure that I will be happy with myself and love myself first, so that I might share an incredible love with someone else. I'm also hitting the gym and I don't have to worry about who is waiting on me while I get my sweat on! #legday


Don't get me wrong, this isn't to say that this way is the right way and settling down early is the wrong way, but this is the path that I have chosen for MYSELF. My mother had me at 18, and I watched her struggle to chase her own dreams and seek a fulfilling path because she gave everything to me in those early years. She has no regrets, but admits it would have been easier to finish school and get her sh*t together had she waited longer to settle down and start a family.


Moral of the story? Yes, I'm 27. No I don't have any children, no I'm not engaged, and no I'm not on Tinder. I don't need your blind dates, feelings of pity, or questions. Thank you for the concern, but my ovaries are fine, the only eggs I'm concerned with are the scrambled one's on my plate, and no, I'm not sad.


Now next year I'll be ancient!!


Just kidding. 😂


Seriously babes, do things on your own times! Currently, I'm a bad ass #bossbabe, I have a 5 month old puppy and a 10 year old dog who keep me very busy, and I have a few amazing close friends that entertain me on days when I may feel a little lonely. Hey, I never said I wasn't lonely, just that I wasn't out on some crazy manhunt for prince charming. So yes, it's ok to be lonely sometimes, but that's when you gotta grab a bottle of wine and some close friends/family, and have a movie night!


P.S. Still not sad. LOL


xoxo,

a twenty-something, single and NOT ready to mingle boss babe aka Jess

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