Today I had a thought. Sometimes I am happy as can be, and sometimes I feel like I am losing myself. I have experienced this feeling more so in recent years than now, but it still occasionally creeps in. Although it is easier to recognize at this point, it does not mean that I am immune to it. Today, I considered all of the ways in which you can lose yourself. One, you can lose yourself in loving someone, two, you can lose yourself in caring for your family and friends, and three, you can lose yourself in growing your business. Losing yourself often means putting so much of yourself into something or someone, and trying to be all that the person or that thing needs, even if it is very different from how you are. For me, I have changed parts of myself to try and fit into what someone else wanted, and I have tried to mold myself into the perfect and best creative version of myself for my business. Admittedly, I found out the hard way, that you cannot do either and make it out with your sanity. You cannot change for someone to make them like you, to make them respect you, or to make them appreciate you. You also cannot change how you share your creativity because you think it is what someone else will like, want, or appreciate. Changing your tastes, interests, style, and little quirks about yourself will not make you happy, and will not get you any closer to some reward you were seeking.
Losing yourself in your family
Not a bad thing, but you are important also.
When it comes to family, friends, and children, we can often lose ourselves trying to care for others and their needs. We want to impress our parents and make them proud. We want to make our significant others see us with brand new eyes and love us in new ways. We want to make sure that our children are given the best and are raised to the best of our abilities. We want to be the shoulder to cry on for our friends. Sometimes, we may disappoint these people that we care about so much and in turn, disappoint ourselves. Unfortunately, the pressure that we put on ourselves to be everything all at once often comes from our insecurities that we aren't doing enough, that we aren't good enough, and that we must change to be better for all of those that we love. Truthfully, there is no such thing as a perfect parent, perfect child, or perfect friend. There is no such thing as a perfect family either. We are all human. We all make mistakes. We all love the best that we can, and often we love others based on how we were taught to love. Everyone has a past, everyone has a story, but what should matter is how you write your future. It is up to you who you want the world to see you as. It is up to you to make yourself feel successful. It is up to you to discover a version of yourself that you can be happy with. Once you figure this out, it will translate into these other areas of your life, and your loved ones will thank you for it. We can support others and be there for them in their time of need, but if we fail to support ourselves also, we can lose who we are, and therefore move further away from our goals of loving and caring for others how we want to. Love yourself first, and your love for those who you care so deeply about will flourish.
A lot of the pressure that we put on ourselves to be a certain way often comes from the competition that we feel we must be a part of. We not only compete with ourselves, but we compete with our friends and family, with fellow business owners, and with complete strangers. Why? Why do we set ourselves up for misery? When can we learn to accept that we are amazing just as we are? When can we learn to accept that those who love us, love us for who we are and who we have always been?
It takes time to accept yourself and to let go of the comparisons. It is so very difficult to do, but so worth it in the end. When you learn to love yourself for all that you are, all that you offer, and you begin to see your worth, amazing things happen. The things that you dreamed of, and the things that you have wished for start to come to you. Things that you force will never come to be in reality, and in the end will never make you happy. We can work hard to better for ourselves, we can work hard to love and cherish our families, and we can work hard to meet business goals. What we should never do, is let those goals and dreams lead us in a direction away from where and why we started. Remember why you followed your passion and started your business. Remember the first time you saw your little one's eyes open and promised to always love and protect them. Remember the moment you fell in love with your favorite person. Remember these feelings and how genuine they are. Don't let them go for anyone or anything. Be true to yourself and the things that come to you will truly be meant for you.