Just show up.
Feel the fear and do it anyways right?
Let me tell you a little story about when I first started J. Isabel Designs almost two and a half years ago. I was nervous, intimidated, and fearful, but I was also hopeful, fresh, and inspired. I made big jumps, faced challenges, grew, and moved at a whirlwind speed through that first year. Once I had one year down I felt like I could take on the world. Things seemed to be going up. Then we came to year two. Even BIGGER accomplishments were made, different challenges were faced, and dreams were being reached. Things were changing, but a good kind of change. I was still terrified.
Then something happened. Things slowed down. Wayyyy down. A sudden blow to my confidence. An unwelcome change. Now once hopeful, I felt lost. I wanted to give up. I thought I had to. I felt like I was being faced with a decision. A give up, or give in kind of decision. That was it. Where there once was hope, it seemed like the light had dimmed to a flicker. It was no longer fun and carefree. Now it was go big or go home. A matter of holding on and fighting for something you had worked so hard for, or letting go.
I let the fear get to me. I was still there, but barely. Hanging on by a thread.
Nobody knew for months that my dream was merely a shell of what it used to be.
And still, as I spent months working through my thoughts, fighting my own mind on whether I COULD make my dreams come true, I always showed up. Even just a little. Even for a moment.
I took breaks. Long ones. I wouldn't post for days. I hadn't checked up on my website in weeks. I even got a part time job away from my creative passion.
Nothing would ever fulfill me like chasing my dreams did. I knew that.
As the days dragged on I felt like I was losing a part of myself. My business was built on passion and stemmed from a relationship that I held with a very special person in my life, my grandmother. I felt like I was letting her down, and myself down. I couldn't give up. Not completely. I had my break. I took my time to refocus myself and figure out what I really wanted. I knew I didn't want to sit behind someone else's desk all day or ring up useless household items behind a register. I wanted that fire back. I wanted something deep inside me to keep me going.
So I quit.
That "new job" I mean. ;)
Just two days later I got a huge rush of orders for Mother's Day. I was BUSY.
All of a sudden, there it was. That desire. That joy. That FEELING. The feeling I missed. The happy dance every time you fulfill another order. That uncontrollable smile that spreads across your face because someone gets it! They understand your dream, and they support it, and they love it! I missed all of it. Another month went by and it seemed like things were picking up again. Not so fast.
There was another lull. Crap.
Business was at a standstill AGAIN, but this time I knew. I wasn't going back to that place. I wasn't going to let the negativity win. I could do this. I started pushing hard again. Nothing was happening.
Flash forward a couple months and there were a few more changes thrown into the mix. I met some new people, and suddenly I felt inspired again. Sometimes seeing someone else chase their dreams really pushes you to chase your own. Sometimes it's a certain person that does that for you.
All of a sudden I was flooded with new ideas and new passion. It was a dream for some time to create my own products and add a different aspect to this awesome gift business of mine. I scribbled up some ideas, embraced my fellow creatives, and something was born. Finally a new path, a new goal, and a new flame burning bright! The desire was back. I CAN do this. I WANT this with everything that I am. I'm not going back. I refuse to be ordinary when I know I was born to be so much more. No longer will I waste my creativity. No longer will I hold myself back. It's my time. It's MY year. It only took me a few weeks to create what I knew I had wanted all along. With a little patience and a whole lot of love, these babies were born.
Oh, and we're only getting started. It might not always be a steady uphill climb, but at least I know that even when I stall, I can get back up and running again. That's what chasing your dreams is all about. Falling down, failing, losing, crying, kicking, screaming, and growing, the whole damn way to the top. Who's with me? 🙋🏼♀️
The main thing I want you ( and myself) to take away from this?
You don't have to have it together all the time. You just have to keep showing up.
Keep dreaming, babes!