How does she do it?
Good vibes only
I've been on this positivity kick lately and I gotta tell ya, it's pretty fricken awesome. I spent so many years of my life being upset, it almost seemed like I enjoyed it. I would stress over little things, let other people affect my mood, and let external circumstances determine how I approached each day. One day I woke up, looked myself in the mirror, and I was tired. Mentally exhausted, physically tired, emotionally drained. I knew something had to change. Looking on the bright side isn't always easy. In fact, I have to catch myself several times throughout the day and remind myself of the little mantras that keep me going on this high on life kinda vibe. My favorite expression is the overused but so true "everything happens for a reason." I started living my life based on this one statement, and it really changed a lot of things for me. For someone like me who has a hard time letting go of the reigns and letting someone or something else take control, this statement helps remind me that there are other forces at work here. There is a higher power, there is a plan, and there is a path that you will go down no matter how hard you attempt to alter it. We all have a purpose, a reason why, and a meaning for our existence. Some people find theirs earlier on than others, but some of us just work every day to discover what it is. This is the beauty of the statement everything happens for a reason. You can relinquish the power, let good things come to you, let life flow, and let bad things teach you what you need to learn in order to move on to the next step of your journey.
Positivity and happiness are things that we have often attached to things, people, places, money etc. When you stop living in this mindset, and realize that positivity and happiness come from within, things begin to change. Seeking love? Love yourself first. Seeking financial freedom? Chase your passion without hesitation. Seeking friendship? Be open, be friendly. Seeking a solution? Trust your gut. Listen to your intuition. Learn to trust yourself more, and the answers will start to come to you. Not everything you do needs an external applause. Sometimes we must figure things out on our own, and this helps us to grow and become more confident individuals. There is that all important word: individual.
To be happy, we must learn to be ourselves, to be on our own, to be an individual, to love ourselves, to not require the validation of others to live our lives, and to learn what it's like to seek the answers from within. Don't get me wrong, I love my relationships with others. Relationships with others are great for conversation, for closeness, for intimacy, for fun, for learning new things, and if you're lucky, for love. One thing we have to stop doing is assuming that we need others for these things though. We must learn to love ourselves first before we can let others love us. We must not suffocate ourselves or our partners with the empty spaces we seek to fill because we never explored what it was like to be on our own. So many people use relationships to glue back together missing pieces, but broken pieces don't fit the same way any longer. You must fill those broken spaces with love before you can entrust someone else to touch them again.
Finding happiness in love?
It is crucial to look at love as something to fill our soul, something to make our already beautiful days a little brighter, and something to challenge us and fuel our fire as we take on the world with the support of another who simply gets us.
We must not look at it as a transaction, something to fill our social media feed with content, or something to pass the time until something better comes along. That's not love. That bleeds you dry. That leads to dissatisfaction, pain, confusion, and hatred. Hatred for the person you become in this situation, and hatred for the person you dragged through this situation. Let's stop making enemies with love and with others because they do not "love" us how we want to be "loved."
Let's go back to loving ourselves. A big issue I have had along my journey to happiness is not loving myself enough. Not loving my body. I hated my bad skin, my stretch marks, my cellulite, my hair that wasn't pin straight, my teeth that weren't blindingly white, my legs that weren't miles long...you get the idea. I had no self confidence and it showed, inside and out.
I had to tell myself that I was beautiful not for what I looked like, but because I simply was. I'm an amazing person. I am funny, I am sarcastic, I am intelligent, I am creative, I am passionate, I am caring, I am giving, I am loving, I am all of these things that are so much more than what I look like when I'm literally stripped bare.
You want to know the greatest thing?
I feel most beautiful when I can see all of my "flaws." When I am straight out of the shower, clean, hair wet, no makeup. I feel stripped of all negativity, of all societal standards, and of all the bad feelings that I have felt when I tried to "dress myself up" to impress others.
Happiness lives here.
Let's all let go. Let go of your "flaws."
Be happy because you are.
It sounds so simple, and too easy, you might say.
Well, it is.
Try this...next time you have a negative thought, reaction, or emotion, think for a second, is this worth it?
Is this worth me being upset? Is it worth my blood pressure skyrocketing? Is it worth my palms sweating and my heart racing? Is it worth ruining my entire day? Is it worth letting this other person make me feel terrible as they go on not caring?
It's not worth it.
The little things.
One more tip: Stop letting the little things become big things.
The little things used to get to me. Waiting an extra few minutes in line, bills that weren't paid on time, people not treating me how I wanted to be treated, things not going my way.
Here is my answer to all of it.
A lack of patience? Take a second and appreciate the fact that you can stand there in that line or that you can drive that car in traffic. Some people don't have those capabilities.
Bills aren't paid on time? Guess what, bills never end, get used to it. They will get paid and nobody is ever going to look back on their life and remember that damn gas bill, so forget about it until you have the money to pay for it. Sometimes you're late, oh well.
People not treating you well? Why are you still talking to those people?
Leave them behind. Either tell them to fix it, treat you better, or move on. Life is too short to stress over people who do not stress over you.
Things not going your way?
Better things are coming.